alex benedetto (
withdrawals) wrote in
cookiebox2013-06-04 09:42 pm
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[ of course, they'd all known this day would come. it was bound to, really. logically, pragmatically, realistically. there was no way that apartment could house all three of them for long, after all, and with all that had happened with the families, and the twilights, and alex finding her brother... well. it was only a matter of time.
she had no reason to stay.
right?
worick, surprisingly, hadn't made that big a deal of things. no grand gesture, no elaborate and theatrically tearful goodbye. just a warm smile, a dinner for all four of them, and the promise to keep in touch. somehow, the simplicity of his goodbye was what had shaken alex the most, and it had actually taken her a long while to gather herself together again after a good, long cry in the room.
by the time she'd come out, worick and her brother were gone, for some reason or another... she'd known that worick had intended for nic to have a chance to say goodbye, but she hadn't anticipated he'd go so far as to leave the two of them alone entirely.
honestly, she'd been under the assumption he would have had to manhandle nic into forcing out a goodbye.
she finds him just outside the door when she finally wanders out of the room, idly dabbing at the corner of her wet eyes. she freezes upon seeing him, hesitating a little, before she puts on a faint, shaky smile. she and her brother leave in the morning. ]
Thank you... for everything.
she had no reason to stay.
right?
worick, surprisingly, hadn't made that big a deal of things. no grand gesture, no elaborate and theatrically tearful goodbye. just a warm smile, a dinner for all four of them, and the promise to keep in touch. somehow, the simplicity of his goodbye was what had shaken alex the most, and it had actually taken her a long while to gather herself together again after a good, long cry in the room.
by the time she'd come out, worick and her brother were gone, for some reason or another... she'd known that worick had intended for nic to have a chance to say goodbye, but she hadn't anticipated he'd go so far as to leave the two of them alone entirely.
honestly, she'd been under the assumption he would have had to manhandle nic into forcing out a goodbye.
she finds him just outside the door when she finally wanders out of the room, idly dabbing at the corner of her wet eyes. she freezes upon seeing him, hesitating a little, before she puts on a faint, shaky smile. she and her brother leave in the morning. ]
Thank you... for everything.
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It's different, seeing this kind of change. He's used to the more abrupt, more violent kind. Pain and loss. Blood and tears. Not this, the slow, gradual recovery of someone healing, mending. Has never had the mind for it, too focused on the steep, steady downward spiral he's on, and all of his kind with him.
So he waits, outside, after the other two leave on some errand or another. He doesn't care to get to know Alex's brother, frankly, not expecting much of the promise to keep in touch. There's only so much to hold your breath for when you're ready to drop dead any day now.
But he can say goodbye, at least, so he stands outside as the whole city cools down, slowly but surely, and doesn't know what to think about the moisture in her eyes. But he looks at her, and she's just herself, just Alex, and no longer some lingering shade.]
You sure about keeping in touch?
[Because really, is this a life you want to keep reminding yourself of?]
no subject
her lips purse in her resolve, and she nods vigorously before responding. ]
I promise I will. I want to.
...I owe you and Worick everything.
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But the point is, he doesn't consider her indebted to them. At the beginning, maybe, but not now - not when she can stand on her own, live on her own. He waves it off.]
I didn't keep count.
[It's repaid, is what he's not saying. Leave while you can. Don't let this place stick to you if you can help it. If you've got any sense, don't let it. (Or do, really. Nobody else has got sense here either.) The point is, it's her choice, and she shouldn't make it under the impression she has some kind of obligation to stick around.]
no subject
she isn't thinking about the quantity here. she's thinking about the quality. she isn't thinking about repayment, so to speak... she's simply thinking about them. not necessarily what they'd done for her, but that they did. when they had absolutely no reason to.
gently, she shakes her head. instead of signing right away, she simply lifts a hand, places it directly over the left side of her chest. over her heart. lets him absorb that for a moment. ]
You were both there for me when you didn't have to be. I can't repay that kind of kindness. I want to keep in touch because you both gave me something priceless.
A family.
no subject
Her words confuse her at first, as much as he figures, okay, yes, they did take her in when they had no reason to. Fair. Never mind that him and Worick were people nobody had reason to take in, too. But then she signs 'family' and it's a knee-jerk reaction: he looks away, scoffs as something inside him runs cold. Taking a deep, silent breath to try and calm himself, and make a quick choice whether to walk away from this now, or not.
For now, he stays. Looks at Alex from the corner of his eye as he answers.]
You found that on your own. We don't make good family.
no subject
she knows, too, that there's still a lot about both nic and worick that she doesn't know about. there's still a lot that they won't tell her about, that they aren't ready to tell her about. and that's fine. she understands and respects that. she doesn't know a thing about either men's families, but from that dismissive way he reacted to the word... it's obvious their stories aren't happy ones.
(but whose is?) ]
I think you're wrong. I think you're a lot better than you want to admit you are. [ maybe it's because of the fact that she's leaving, that she's getting the nerve to say all this. ] And I think...
I think you'll miss me just as much as I'll miss you.
no subject
Maybe.
[Something that's become a part of one's life and left would always be missing - would always be missed. It's only natural, isn't it?]
But shouldn't you be glad to be getting out of here?
[Away from this, and from him, too. Away from the people who constantly remind her of having been a prostitute. She doesn't have to belong here at all.
More than anything, this is what's changed - his blunt speaking his mind has to a degree been extended to her. And not only because she can actually understand him now.]
no subject
yes, it is true. she is glad to be leaving, because leaving means she's done what she's wanted to do — move on, make something of her life, find her brother, her purpose, and finally stop depending on the boys enough to get out of their hair. leaving means a new beginning for her. a new journey. ]
I am. I'm glad I won't be a burden for you two anymore. I'm glad I found what I was looking for. But I'm not glad to be leaving you two. I found my second chance here. You gave it to me.
no subject
Nicolas looks at her with the creeping realization that when he opened up the option to let her live, he had no idea what he was getting into. He regards her warily. As confused as he is, he's almost glad she's going, too. But since she's set on coming back, he isn't so sure it'll be much use. Of course, experience dictates that she'll be struck down from this. She's got to. That's just what happens.
...but will it even make a difference if anyone tries, after all this?
He wants to tell her she shouldn't look back. That there's nothing else for her here really. That she can move on, but not them. Never them. But that's not what he says at all.]
You weren't much of a burden to begin with.
omg im so sorry this took me forever ;;;;;;;;;;
they'd given her a chance. she only hoped they could be happy with what she'd done with it.
having him say that, though... to have him confirm that she hadn't, in fact, been a bother. that she hadn't been in the way, like she constantly feared she had been. it shakes her more than she thought it would, and for a moment she's left fighting back tears, hands to her eyes.
hastily, she drops them to sign back, shaking from relief and happiness all the while. ]
Thank you...
speaking of taking forever for things.
His hands falter, where they would have been quick to brush her off on any other day. He pauses, stuck between trying to put his thoughts into order and simply letting himself act - and that's never been a very difficult choice for him to begin with.
Instead of signing back anything, he reaches out for her with one hand, resting it against her cheek, and uses the thumb to wipe away the moisture clinging to the skin underneath her eye. This isn't the kind of gesture anyone would expect from someone like him, but he can hardly accuse a lot of people of knowing him well.]